Take No Prisoners 2009

George R. Brown Convention Center – Houston, Texas – Saturday, April 4, 2009

Dave Prazak and Lenny Leonard are on commentary.

MATCH #1: Colt Cabana vs. Ace Steel

I really don’t miss Ace Steel. Former ROH World Champion Nigel McGuinness, having just lost the title last night, joins the commentating team. They do some “comedy” early on as monkeys in the crowd chant “this is awesome,” while the commentators ignore the match. Cabana seems to be one step ahead of his trainer most of the time. They mess with the crowd a little bit, as Steel tries to be a “funny heel.” Steel is able to gain an advantage and hits a clothesline off the top rope for two. Cabana makes the comeback with some right hands and the butt-butt in the corner. He goes for the Colt 45 but Steel slips out and tries an O’Connor Roll. Cabana rolls through that perfectly into the Billy Goat’s Curse to get the submission victory at 9:25. Neither of these guys really inspires me, and since I don’t have anything nice to say I won’t say anything at all.
Rating: *

MATCH #2: Eight Man Tag Team Match – Jay Briscoe, Magno, Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, Chris Hero & Incognito

The babyfaces charge the ring and the fight is on. Magno and Incognito end up in the ring and they showcase their Lucha Libre skills. They take it to the floor as well, as Magno hits a rana over the top rope and down to the floor. Steen and Edwards get in the ring now and the bell finally rings; I guess Magno and Incognito don’t count. They trade some shots, and Steen gets the first advantage and then tags Generico in. Edwards responds by tagging Richards. Generico hits some mounted punches in the corner and a leg lariat. Briscoe gets tagged in and he takes it right to Richards, kicking him in the head for two. Richards comes back with a leg lariat of his own and then tags Hero. Briscoe avoids his attacks and tags Generico back in, who hits a rana off the top rope for a two-count. Hero makes the comeback with a slam, and then tags Richards back in. Richards quickly tags Edwards, and the Sweet N’ Sour team is working Generico over in their half of the ring. Incognito gets tagged in for the first time since the match officially started. He hits a springboard senton and then taunts Steen about it before tagging Hero. Richards quickly gets tagged back in and Generico hits a Michinoku Driver and makes the tag to all three of his partners. Yeah that’s not really legal. The match breaks down and the heels get sent to the floor. Steen and Briscoe hit stereo dives, and then Generico and Magno follow suit. Magno goes back up and hits a spinning dive onto everyone. Generico and Steen take Edwards back into the ring and the good guys take turns decimating him with big moves, but can’t get the pin when all the heels come in and break it up. We end up with Steen and Hero in the ring, and Steen tags out to Generico. They battle up on the top rope, and referee Todd Sinclair ends up taking a bump. Hero puts on the green elbow pad, but Generico hits the big Yakuza kick before Hero can use it. Generico goes for the Super Brainbuster but Hero knocks him down with an elbow, and Briscoe breaks up the cover. Briscoe then drags Generico over to the corner and tags himself in. He knocks Hero to the apron, and Steen removes the elbow pad! Hero is dismayed as Briscoe hits a big spinebuster, and then hits the Spiked Jay Driller with the help of Magno to get the pin at 9:26. That was pretty fun for a chaotic eight-man tag, but I have to wonder why bring in Magno and Incognito when they hardly did anything?
Rating: ***

MATCH #3: No Disqualification Match – Jimmy Jacobs vs. Necro Butcher

We take a look at the Jimmy Jacobs versus Necro Butcher feud, in video package form. Necro has been insanely boring since leaving Age of The Fall. They’re calling it both a No-DQ match and a “Fight without Honor,” but I choose to go with what Bobby Cruise said. The match starts as a big brawl outside the ring, with Necro throwing Jacobs around and into the crowd. Necro continues to control the action as they move throughout the crowd. It’s all Necro as he throws Jacobs back over the guardrail to ringside, and then back into the ring. But what Necro didn’t know was that Jacobs found a giant screwdriver under the ring and he drills Necro in the face with it, causing blood to flow. Back in the ring Jacobs attacks Necro’s bloody forehead, and even rips Necro’s hair out, drawing a “you sick f*ck” chant. Jacobs tries to use a chair but Necro fires up and uses the chair himself to regain control. Necro hits a chair slam and then sends Jacobs to the floor. Jacobs is busted open now as well. Necro gets distracted by setting up some chairs, allowing Jacobs to hit a Spear off the apron. He goes up top and Necro weakly throws a chair into his midsection. They fight up on the turnbuckles with a table looming below. The crowd chants “please don’t die” as Jacobs suplexes Necro all the way down to the floor! These guys are nuts. Jacobs recovers first and tries to pick Necro up. Paul Turner and other officials help Jacobs roll Necro into the ring, for some stupid reason, and Jacobs goes for the cover. Necro kicks out at two, but is still pretty groggy when he gets back to his feet. Jacobs lands a sold chair shot to Necro’s head, and then Necro shrugs off the second one and unloads on Jacobs with chops, punches, and a bulldog on the chair for two. Necro pastes Jacobs with a chair shot to the head for another two-count. He takes Jacobs to the apron and hits a Death Valley Driver through the table. Back in the ring Necro hits a shitty cross body block off the top for two. He piles three chairs and goes for a chokeslam, but Jacobs hits a low blow and locks on the End Time. Necro powers out of it and breaks the hold. Jacobs goes for the Contra Code but Necro blocks it and hits a right hand to the face. Necro then hits a Tiger Driver on the chairs for the pin at 14:52. The no-selling was kind of ridiculous but I guess it’s to be expected. The match was okay garbage but I’m just not into Necro and this feud seemed to go on forever.
Rating: **½

Interview with Nigel McGuinness

The former ROH World Champion, having lost the title just last night after a 545 day reign, the second longest in ROH history. He basically says he won’t be wrestling tonight, and then wants to fight the fans or something. I don’t know for sure, I was distracted by all the idiots in the crowd trying to get themselves “over.” Claudio Castagnoli comes out to interrupt and wondered what happened to their “Europe versus America” thing. Apparently Claudio is pretty upset about it, since he attacks Nigel as soon as he turns his back. Brent Albright comes rushing out not necessarily to make the save, but at least to fight his heated rival.

MATCH #4: Three Way Match – Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright vs. Blue Demon, Jr.

The match starts without Blue Demon, Jr., who is the current NWA Champion. Claudio quickly sends Albright to the floor, and then Demon comes down to the ring without an introduction. Demon takes a series of European Uppercuts and then a clothesline for two. Remember, three-way matches require tags nowadays, so Albright is stuck on the apron. Demon takes Claudio to the floor with a pair of headscissors, and back in the ring gets a standing senton for two when Albright breaks up the cover. Back on their feet Claudio regains control on the first Mexican to become NWA Champion. Claudio hits the Les Artes Lift for two; Albright once again broke up the cover. Demon soon makes the tag to Albright, and he’s all fired up about fighting his nemesis. Albright hits a backbreaker, the 6-1-Knee, and a swinging neckbreaker for two. He monkey flips Claudio to the floor and tries following him out with a slingshot dive, but he just kind of lands there and Claudio nonchalantly picks him up to wait for Demon to come out between the ropes with a suicide dive. Back in the ring Albright tries a cross body off the top but Claudio catches him with a European Uppercut. Claudio goes for the Riccola Bomb but Nigel McGuinness grabs his leg, and for some reason there’s no disqualification. The distraction allows Albright to hit the Half-Nelson Suplex for the victory at 5:38. Thank goodness it was short; the match was a mess and the finish was stupid.
Rating: *

MATCH #5: Alex Koslov vs. Roderick Strong

Koslov is a regular from the AAA promotion in Mexico. They lock up to start and trade armbars, and then quickly take it to the mat. Koslov instantly irritates me by doing the Kenny Omega stop sign thing, and then not even doing a move after it. That’s just awful on many levels. Strong comes back with a leg lariat and the fans chant “USA.” A backbreaker gets the first near-fall of the match for Strong. Back on their feet Koslov absorbs some chops and tries a cross body block, but Strong catches him and hits a fallaway slam. They fight on the apron and Strong knocks Koslov to the floor. Strong tries a leaping forearm but Koslov moves out of the way and Strong crashes into the guardrail. Koslov takes advantage now, throwing Strong into the guardrails a couple of times and then bringing the match back in the ring. After a few minutes of abuse Koslov puts on his Russian hat and does the Cossack Dance. I don’t really care for that. Koslov traps Strong in the ropes and locks on a surfboard, which is called Perestroika. Strong comes back with a big enziguiri, and follows up with a superplex. They get back to their feet and Strong lights Koslov up with a series of chops. Strong follows with a running forearm and a backbreaker for two. Koslov comes up with a chinbreaker, and Strong comes back with the gutbuster, and then Koslov comes back from that with the Soviet Strike (superkick) for a two-count. Strong goes for a half-nelson backbreaker but Koslov counters with a crucifix for two. Koslov has no counter for the running Yakuza though. Strong then locks on the Stronghold for the submission victory at 7:39. It was a perfectly solid match, but it could have used some more time, because I hear people raving about Koslov but I didn’t see anything in this match that really made me want to see him again.
Rating: **¾

MATCH #6: ROH World Title Four Corner Survival – Jerry Lynn vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Erick Stevens vs. D-Lo Brown

Lynn has been the champion since 4.3.09, and this is his first defense. I appreciate the video package they put together for this match that was announced before Lynn got the title so it’s not like Stevens or Brown earned their shots. It starts as a big brawl, with Danielson and Lynn tumbling to the floor, leaving Stevens and Brown to try and out-power each other. Stevens knocks Brown to the floor, and Danielson throws Lynn into the guardrail, and then goes into the ring to square off with Stevens. They take their turn and then Brown and Lynn find their way into the ring for some Veteran Wrestling. Then Lynn and Danielson eliminate the other two and make their way back in the ring. They don’t stay there too long though, as they hit simultaneous dives to their opponents on opposite sides of the ring. This time when they get back in the ring Lynn hits a headscissors, but Danielson charges out of the corner with a flying knee strike. Danielson hooks on Cattle Mutilation and Stevens breaks it up. Stevens hits Danielson with a powerslam and Brown breaks that up. Brown hits a Shining Wizard on Stevens, and Lynn surprises Brown with a tornado DDT. Danielson gets back in with a missile dropkick on Lynn. He tries a running kick but Lynn avoids it and hits a release German Suplex and uses another tornado DDT to take Danielson down. Lynn then locks on a cross armbreaker. Brown breaks that up with a ‘Lo Down, and Stevens breaks that up. Stevens hits the pop-up clothesline and goes to the second rope, but Brown stops him and goes for a superplex. Lynn breaks it up and hits a powerbomb. He tries the Cradle Piledriver but Stevens breaks it up with a big shoulderblock. Stevens clotheslines Brown to the floor, and Brown goes into the crowd for no real reason. Well, I guess he had to be in position to take Danielson’s dive. Back in the ring Stevens hits Lynn with the Choo-Choo, but Lynn ducks a clothesline and hits the Cradle Piledriver for the pin at 8:09. Since Lynn defended it three other times in the month of April I don’t think this needed to be a title match, but it was short, energetic, and quite fun.
Rating: ***

MATCH #7: KENTA & Tyler Black vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima & Austin Aries

Black and Aries start the match with some trash talking, and then Aries quickly takes it to the mat. Things get heated and Aries tags out to Nakajima. Black and Nakajima exchange fast-paced offensive moves, and then Black tags KENTA. They immediately trade kicks and forearms, with neither man budging an inch. KENTA actually counters a leapfrog attempt with a huge kick to the face, which is awesome. Nakajima pretty much no sells it and tags Aries. The crowd would like to see KENTA harm Aries, in so many words. They take it to the mat and Aries tries to escape a headscissors with a dropkick but KENTA avoids it. Aries slaps KENTA across the face, avoids a kick, and then rolls to the floor to gloat. Black doesn’t care for that, so he hits Aries with a running forearm off the apron and then throws him back in the ring. KENTA hits a series of kicks and tags Black into the match. Black is all over Aries, punching away and throwing him out of the corner with a huge biel. Over in the other corner he hits 10 mounted punches, and then a suplex for two. Black and KENTA double-team Aries for a two-count, and continue to work him over. Aries comes back by knocking Black to the floor and following him out with an axe handle off the top rope. Nakajima gets tagged in and now they go to work on Black. Aries goes for the Power Drive Elbow and the fans booing causes him to extend the move even longer, giving Black the chance to recover with a schoolboy rollup for two! Black follows up with a kick to the head and makes the hot tag! KENTA is all over Aries, delivering a series of kicks to the face and a Fisherman Buster for two. He locks on a Boston Crab until Nakajima breaks it up, and Aries makes the tag. Nakajima hits a leaping forearm, double-underhook suplex, and a DDT. He goes up top and hits a missile dropkick for another two. The offense is coming almost too fast for me to keep up with. Nakajima goes up for a super brainbuster but KENTA drops him down chest-first to the canvas, and leaps off with a double stomp. KENTA tries the Go 2 Sleep but Nakajima counters with a rana and two superkicks, and KENTA manages to hit a big clothesline before selling the beating. Nakajima makes the tag to Aries, who prevents Black from getting the corresponding tag. Aries hits a running dropkick in the corner and goes for the brainbuster but KENTA reverses it to a German Suplex and makes the tag! Black comes in with a springboard lariat and a running forearm in the corner. The Paroxysm gets two. Black sort of hits a Northern Lariat and a standing shooting star press for two. He goes up top for the Phoenix but Aries moves out of the way and armdrags Black into the turnbuckles, and seamlessly rolls into the Last Chancery. KENTA breaks that up and Nakajima throws him to the floor. They take it to the floor while Aries has Black set up for a super brainbuster. Black goes for a sunset bomb but Aries reverses to a rana. Aries tries the running dropkick but Black catches him and drops him chest-first to the canvas. Black hits the Buckle Bomb but Nakajima comes in with three superkicks on Black, and KENTA hits him with the Busaiku Knee. Aries avoids a Pele kick and goes for the Brainbuster, but Black reverse it to God’s Last Gift to finally score the pin at 22:10. That was almost non-stop action from bell to bell, and a very good main event for ROH pay-per-view to bow out on.
Rating: ****

BONUS MATCH: Rhett Titus vs. Bushwhacker Luke

I’m glad this is a bonus match and didn’t make the pay-per-view broadcast. Titus attacks first, but Luke comes back by going after the bow tie. That doesn’t last too long before Titus comes back and stomps Luke in the corner and mocks the Bushwhacker strut. Luke comes back with a low blow of sorts and an inverted atomic drop. He follows up with a couple of clotheslines and whips into the corner. A DDT gets two for Luke when Titus sort of gets his foot on the bottom rope and then kicks out. Titus gets a schoolboy rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 2:51. That was too short to be offensive but that certainly doesn’t make it good.
Rating: ¼*

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